Saturday, September 26, 2020
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ASK LADY A ADVICE COLUMN

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ASK LADY A

 

Lady A,

I am a 41-year-old female busy workaholic and lately I have been feeling the pain of being lonely in my age, especially being single with no kids. I recently joined two dating apps and the amount of connections I have been making have been AMAZING!!! Now here is where it gets tricky, I have been able to meet a few guys in person and some have gone well and some not so much. In my age, I am looking for a serious relationship, but I would rather let that be known upfront then play games. My question is how can I relay this message on my personal pages on these dating apps without scaring potential GREAT men away?

Sincerely,

Ready to Mingle

Dear Ready to Mingle,

I think that it’s great that you recognize your time is limited but you really know what you want… However, I think you should also recognize that if you are not willing to slow down and allow others to see what they need and want in you that you will continue to sell yourself short. I am not sure what dating apps you are on but most (from what I have heard lol) will allow you to choose your preference of what you are looking for almost to the tee. My advice is don’t lead with the heavy stuff and start off by just looking for a friend in a mate. The serious stuff will come at the right time when you both are on one accord. Don’t ignore red flags and be absolutely sure in defining your deal breakers ahead of time and sticking with it. Relaying the message, you are ready for a serious relationship will also show when the gentleman you really like will see you are starting to make time for him outside of your normal scheduled time. Hopefully, you are honest with yourself and pace yourself while dating make it a fun experience and don’t treat it like a job. Good Luck on finding the perfect man.

Fingers Crossed,

Lady A

 

 

Dear Lady A,

Recently I found out that a married woman I currently fool around with was in a really bad car wreck and is on life support. I want to go up to the hospital and show my love and support, but my friends think I am out of order for wanting to do so. Please tell me the best way to handle this because she is someone, I care about even though our relationship is wrong. 

Sad Regards,

The Hurting Mister

 

Dear Hurting Mister,

In light of the type of relationship you have with this woman, it is not my place to judge you. However, here is my advice, because of the nature of the situation I feel it is best for you to stay in the background and allow her husband and family to deal with her accident without added stress. Even though she had a relationship with you outside of her marriage it is not your place to make it known to her family without her knowledge and consent. Staying in the background does not mean you don’t care or that you are not there for her. I’m sure if she could speak for herself, she would not feel that your absence means you think less of her. Respect is still warranted to her husband and her family in this case. I think this time should be used to reflect on what you really want out of life and apply it without hurting others in the process of obtaining it. 

Kind Regards,

Lady A