The famous line from Fiddler on the Roof states it best, “without our traditions, our lives would be as shaky as a fiddler on the roof”.
Makes sense, right?
Traditions are the glue that binds together family, clans, nations, and people.
But when are traditions outdated? Is it okay to move them aside for personal reasons?
In recent years, one of the most traditional events has steered away from its traditional roots. And I think that’s beautiful.
When the thousands of girls right now are pinning away on their wedding Pinterest boards, they aren’t adding traditional dresses, fold-out chairs, and pictures of small family gatherings. They are searching for ways in which to make their weddings unique and special to them and their husband. They don’t want a ‘traditional’ wedding. They want something that stands out.
As a society, we have become so focused on the individual that events that have been revered for centuries are no longer ‘in style’. In fact, having a traditional wedding is now unique. Isn’t that ironic?
Now, don’t get me wrong, my wedding will have pizza and an ombre style of bridesmaids dresses. We will not be in a church and all of our seats will be different designs. I am all for unique weddings.
But I still wonder how we have gone so far away from the old wedding ways that we do not even remember the real traditions.
So what are some traditions no longer ‘en vogue”?
Not seeing each other until the ceremony
I always liked this idea. I wanted to see my husband cry when I walked down the aisle. I wanted him to be overwhelmed with gratitude that he is marrying me. But then my sister, a brilliant wedding photographer (http://www.lindleybattle.com) said that was dumb.
- The groom will always cry. This is an important day for the both of you. You’re walking down the aisle to your future, but he’s realizing that he’s that future. He’s not going to brush off this moment just because he’s already seen you. By that logic, the idea of wanting to get married just because he’s already dating you begins to make sense. Tears will be shed. And if not, you can do what my friend swears to do: Hike up that dress and turn your little self around.
- It’s a moment for you two to be alone. The wedding surrounds you with people. Many times, you and your future spouse will be separated by the guests trying to each individually congratulate you and offer an embarrassing antidote about knowing you since diapers. Romantic, right? Yes, these are your friends, but you want to have a quiet moment. There is something sweet about a non-filtered alone moment before everything really starts.
- The pictures. Let’s be honest, the wedding is half for the pictures. Have this moment of beautiful and intimate surprises. Give yourself the memory to keep forever of that one last alone and magical moment.
Yes, you can have the normal vows, but a popular idea is to make personal ones. This allows the two of you to express your inner thoughts and really talk about what makes your love special. I like this for a few reasons:
- Sometimes the traditional vows don’t focus on elements of your relationship that are really applicable. I mean, yes, marriage is similar in some of the ways that the traditional vows highlight, but sometimes you just want to add in that little bit extra.
- You are also able to include the traditions in the end. You don’t have to forgo the entire tradition. Think of your personal vows as an addition, not a subtraction.
- This is your last time to make promises before the real thing. These are your vows. These are the standards that you will hold yourself to for the rest of your marriage (and hopefully the rest of your life). These are what will be your new building block for marriage. This is another example of only addition, no subtraction.
This one is a little controversial. Some brides will only wear white. I mean, what else would you do? But others prefer a more dramatic color. This is a tradition that I personally will surely be holding tightly to and will never give up.
- Many weddings will have a ‘theme’. Sometimes brides will match with that theme, for example, for a Halloween themed wedding, something surprisingly popular, the brides will sport a black wedding dress.
- Many second weddings aren’t accompanied with the color white. Many times, if the bride is in her second or third wedding, she doesn’t really want to go through the hassle of finding another wedding dress. She already did that.
This tradition holds close to the idea that the bride and the groom only have friends of the same gender. This is a tradition I’m not sure about yet.
- Honestly, yeah, it helps with the picture to have everyone of the same color and outfit surrounding you. But what if your best friend in the world is of a different gender?
- If you do have a pal that won’t be on the gender-specific side, you can still keep the same color-scheme. If the groom’s side is wearing gray and he has a girl best friend, find her a charcoal dress. You can even go more extra and pull a Gilmore Girls renewing of the vows moment and plop her in a woman’s tuxedo. They do exist. The same goes for the guy on the bride’s side. While a man sporting a dress might be a little too comical, suits and tuxedos are now made in every color and pattern in the rainbow. You can surely match his entire ensemble to the bridesmaids’.
- Put them on the gender-specific side. Honestly, if your guy best friend is that important to you, your future husband should be okay with adding him to his party. I mean, he’ll be in your life too. Keep with the tradition if you want and if the two of y’all agree.
- Who cares? So many times, people’s bridesmaids and groomsmen will sport different designs and colors. Does it really matter the synchronicity if they’re all important to you? I don’t think so.
Guys, we have so many abilities to change our weddings into something special. Pinterest seems to be good when it comes to these event plannings. I’m a fan of changing things up, but I do suggest you hold onto those traditions that have lasted for so long. I mean, they’re traditions for a reason, right? Or are traditions meant to be broken?