ASK LADY A
Dear Lady A,
Me and my husband have been married for 6 years and we both married with kids from outside relationships pre marriage. After our first year of marriage we got pregnant and had our son together bringing our tribe from 4 to 5. My husband who is not from the states wants to plan a family trip out of the country for us to visit his family but unfortunately my child’s father is having a problem with us taking our daughter out of the country. What is the best way to approach this situation and communicate to him that we want her to join because that is her family now also?
Worried Baby Mother!
Dear Worried Baby Mother,
Sounds like a challenging situation. Maybe the first step could be to bring all adults involved in this situation together to gain understanding of the end goal a Family Trip. Allowing your husband and your baby father to talk may bring comfort if your baby father had a chance to address any worries or concerns with you and your husband. My suggestion would be to emphasize to the baby daddy that as a blended family you don’t want your daughter to feel secluded from family activities because of his issues as a father. Coming up with boundaries and mutual agreements regarding travels and holidays and any other things that may cause a change in family dynamic is always best when done from a loving space and understanding heart. Simply acknowledging his concerns, fears or worries may help him understand just how important this is to you and your husband. Good Luck with the conversation.
Dear Lady A,
I have been in medical school for the last 18 months and I am excited about my future career in medicine. Here is the kicker my girlfriend of 2 years just found out she is pregnant and we are having a baby. I don’t want to drop out of medical school but I know she will need support and help with us having a new baby and all. Do you think if I take one year off to deal with the new addition I will be making a mistake? I want her to know I am supportive and overjoyed she is making me a father but I really want to continue with my medical program so I can provide a better life for her and now our child.
The Future Doctor
Dear Future Doctor,
First Congratulations on pursuing your goal of becoming a doctor and also congratulations on becoming a first time father. These are both two things to celebrate however lets dive into your concern. I can’t really say what’s best for your situation but I will say usually when one is in school for medicine to become a doctor most people stay with a particular program all the way through. Is it possible to communicate to your girlfriend and family that you would like to stay in medical school so this may require family members and friends to be a little more supportive of your girlfriend through this new journey? I think by expressing a goal and plan on what the future will look like when you finish school will give her peace of mind. I think as a woman she will understand how important medical school is to you , her and your future child. My personal opinion is STAY IN SCHOOL. I can only hope you guys get the support you need at this time and it doesn’t make you a bad new father for staying in school. You will still support and love her in other ways and also be there for your newborn when the time comes. Good Luck with this new life. Again congratulations.
Celebrating a Bundle of Joy,