Dear Lady A,
When I first met my husband, we both married under the agreement we both didn’t want to have kids. After hanging out with some friends who recently had twins, I fell in love with the idea of being a mom. How do I break the news to my husband of 4 years that I may have changed my mind and would like to explore the options of kids?
Dear Screaming Ovaries,
Congratulations on 4 years of marriage so far. I want to first say when discussing such a heavy topic you must already have an idea on how to approach your husband. Based on you guys communication level you already understand what needs to be in place when discussing things that may make him uncomfortable. My advice is asking questions to feel him out and see if he responds the same way he might have 4 years go before marriage may help in determining your next approach. Kids are a big step and will absolutely change the dynamic in your marriage. Don’t approach him in a way that makes him already feel like you have made a decision but in a way that lets him know you need him to be a part of the decision you want to change together. If it helps and you feel you are ready to flat out tell him, you changed your mind I would advise seeking wise counsel from a trusted source such as a family therapist or spiritual leader to help address any feelings that may arise from the change of heart. Good luck with introducing him to the possibility of wanting to be. Father. Be open to compromise and don’t let his reluctance to what was agreed upon earlier discourage you from having the conversation. Also don’t let him hear the news from anyone else f you catch my drift. Fingers crossed and prayers up!
Happy Baby Fever,
Dear Lady A,
I have struggled many years with coming out to my parents. Now here I am at 34 wanting to share with my parents that I have been with the same man for the last 4 years and we are ready to get married. I know this might seem strange being that I am so old and should be able to say what I want but here is the catch I am a PK (pastors’ kid) and according to my upbringing my lifestyle is wrong in Gods eyes. How do I break the news to my Pastor Dad and First Lady mother that their first-born male is ready to get married to his long-time partner a man? Please HELP!!!
Dear His Man!!!,
First let me say If I could meet you in person, I would just hug you. In the climate we live in it’s hard enough that society is cruel to those who love different than what is classified as “Normal”. My advice to you is examine self and truly ask yourself why have you been so afraid to tell your parents what they probably already know but chose to deny it or see it. The reality is if you are happy with who God created you to be then be just that happy. I know it would absolutely mean the world to have your parents accept your lifestyle and be happy for you and your man. Sounds easy huh?, Well I understand how that religion thing works. Naturally don’t focus on the religion part when talking to them and make it very clear that no matter what you are still their child and God loves you just as he loves them. Sometimes having another trusted source such as a therapist or another spiritual entity can help navigate through any feelings that may arise. Remember setting boundaries are for you not for anyone else, be comfortable in your own skin no matter what anyone may say. I send much love and prayers for your strength in introducing your true self at age 34 to your parents.
Live, Love & Learn,