Are you Dating for Love or Stability?


This is the question of 2016!

Dating is always somewhat of a difficult task, but even more so in this social media driven generation where everyone is so accessible, not to mention the “relationship goal” memes thrown in your face every second of the day as a reminder of your single status. But when you are dating, what are you really looking for? Are you looking for companionship when you’re bored? Someone to take care of you? The perfect love or romance?


The Dating Scene

Being in LA, the dating scene is unpromising and somewhat hopeless. A friend once told me “One thing you need to know about LA is that everyone is here to make it and relationships are only for convenience and short-term. People get into relationships to use a person until they get to their place in their journey.” Hearing this really freaked me out, and gave me a mistrust of dating in a city where relationships come second to careers and hustles.  I don’t really want to look for my partner on dating sites like Soul Swipe or Tinder. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve definitely given this route a try, but I’ve decided that I’d rather let love find me, instead of me frantically searching for it.


The Goal of Dating

I had a major discussion with some girlfriends of mine and we still struggle with this topic. We finally came to the agreement that everybody should date for love or have love be the ultimate goal. When you date for love, stability is one of those things that should result from a nurturing relationship. On the other hand, when you date strictly for stability, love is easily absent. Dating for stability can be a blessing and a curse, because although it may be nice to date someone willing to take care of you financially, whose to say that they will treat you right to the end, or not hold it against you when things get rocky? Sure, the gifts and lavish living is nice for awhile but money cannot buy happiness forever. Eventually depending on someone to sustain your lifestyle will take its toll on you. You will most likely end up being more miserable than you were being single.


​However, when ​you date for love, you learn to love the person inside-out, for who they really are, based on their character. If you find genuine happiness with someone, without the material things, you allow for emotional growth with that person. You create the chance to build a compassionate, trusting, and motivating love with that person. Under these ideal circumstances, while knowing your own worth and what you deserve, you allow yourself the healthy space to continue growing individually as well as the opportunity for your partner to continue pursuing their personal growth.


The Key to it All

In the words of DJ Khaled, the “major key” is finding that perfect balance in your partner. While everyone has their own personal criteria when it comes to their quest for companionship, all in all I can definitely say that I’m looking for love. While my partner will have to share in the individual stability and independent qualities I pride myself in having, I’m also just a hopeless romantic! I hope everyone starts to find beauty in the madness and fall in love with LOVE, because that’s the one thing that will always last no matter what.


Rayven Crockett

Rayven Crockett


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